On Tuesday, July 28th, several YAAA members attended a Zoom book club discussion on The Vanishing Half: A Novel by Brit Bennett. Themes that emerged during the discussion included: race, racial identity, colorism, passing, privilege, cultural trauma, the “American Dream” of whiteness, racial bigotry, two faces of the black experience, perceived stain of blackness, performing race, tragic mulatto, domestic violence, belonging, loneliness, and abandonment.
In addition, a few of our members agreed to share how the book personally resonated with them:
What has been your experience with one or more of the themes mentioned in The Vanishing Half: A Novel by Brit Bennett?
The themes that resonated most with me while reading this book were colorism and belonging. I will never forget my first experience with race growing up. Interesting enough, I wasn’t exposed to race when I went to a predominately white elementary school in Orlando, Florida; where I was one of the two black students in the classroom. I was exposed to race when I transferred to an all-black elementary school on the southside of Chicago; where I was told that I was acting, talking, and walking “white”. I had no idea what that word meant, only that somehow, I was different from everyone else. I wanted so badly to fit in and remember trying to change my mannerisms. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about what I was experiencing, as my mom and I are the lightest African Americans in my family. No one had the “race talk” with my mom, who experienced racism from both black and white people, including her own family members. So, she didn’t know how to have the talk with me, or that it was needed. Needless to say, I didn’t feel a sense of belonging until my first year of college at Xavier University of Louisiana. For once, I was not the minority as a light-skinned African American. Reading Jude’s experience in the book really resonated with me, because I too grew up not feeling like I belonged with my own people because of the color of my skin. And I too decided to move away from home and focus on being academically successful. As the mother of a light-skinned Haitian and African American daughter, I hope to instill in her the importance of self-love, diversity, and culture at an early age, and to accept people for who they are, which includes their differences. - Marinda Monfilston
I have had many experiences with all of the themes but will focus on belonging and domestic violence. As for belonging, moving to a suburb and attending an all-white elementary school, starting in 2nd grade where my twin and I were the only two black students in the school, we were often made to feel that we did not belong. Perhaps it was the behaviors of the teachers or some classmates, but I recall knowing immediately that we were viewed as different. Our grandmother who raised us made sure we knew that we were special, and the importance of education, and would often address teachers and school leadership when she felt that we were being slighted. Looking back on that time in the mid-70s, I recall the times when neighbors wouldn’t allow us in their yards, or when we were called the N word, and even how I, a lighter skin tone than my brother, may have been embraced and him ignored. Not only were we excluded or made to feel different or less than in the white community that we moved to, but even in the predominately black working-class neighborhood that we got our start in and later returned to, we were teased for our proper pronunciations, and some of our word choices after having attended the suburban school. I recall being teased once for using the word slaughtered when unfair teams were selected for a game of kickball. I’ve been told a story of a time or two when I was doted over as the cute baby twin and my brother ignored which could have been gender-based, although our mother “knew” it was colorism. My experience with domestic violence – wow, I’ve seen a lot and at one time was enthralled in an emotionally abusive relationship. I was so glad that Desiree finally gained the courage to leave her abuser. It was, however nice to see that Desiree was able to recover from the abuse and find love. Although, I wonder if she ever did really recover. Perhaps in addition to her sister being a vanishing half, the abuse too vanished. No longer to be physically seen, but always there. Too many times women flee to only return, and the vicious cycle continues. This was the case of my eldest maternal aunt. Her abuser ended their marriage with murder-suicide. Due to that tragedy, I had a really hard time trusting men, and honestly for a long time somewhat feared men, but was also drawn to brown-skinned men (my aunt was fair and her husband brown). I ended up marrying a brown-skinned man, which in looking back and seeing how the tragedy of my aunt affected me, caused a great deal of stress when I finally did get married in my early 30s. - Anonymous
What resonated most with you while reading The Vanishing Half: A Novel by Brit Bennett?
What resonated most for me while listening to this book, is that one can change locations (Stella, Desiree, Reese, Jade, Kennedy, and Early), but his or her past and what they are trying to escape from will always be. All of these people fled their physical locations, but the emotional baggage remained. We are formed from our experiences, good and bad. Families can be disjointed, but still love and care for one another. It is sometimes ok to do what’s best for you and not what is expected of you. I also know that while a person may find joy in choosing themselves, there can be great pain, sorrow, and loss in choosing self over those we love. - Tracy Edwards
What resonated most with me while reading this book was the blanket of loneliness that was hovering over so many characters. Both twins (Desiree’ and Stella) were experiencing loneliness via their life changing decisions (one by returning to her home town after being married to an abusive husband and the other twin by permanently inventing another life away from her family). Stella’s loneliness intensified because she could not forge close relationships with anyone, including her husband and daughter, due to her life style choice of passing. Jude (Desiree’s daughter) experienced loneliness in childhood due to the fact that the whole town treated her differently due to her skin tone and in adult hood because she was in a love relationship that she could not fully share with others. Kennedy (Stella’s daughter) experienced loneliness because she would not allow herself to get close to anyone, probably due to the fact that she did not experience a true bonding relationship with her mother. The twins (Desiree’ and Stella) both felt loneliness because they missed each other so much. They both needed and wanted their sister to share their daily life with, but nothing was there but a void. This issue resonated with me the most! As a twin myself, I could not imagine never seeing/talking to my sister again (usually we try to talk to each other on a daily basis). There were other cases of loneliness in the book, but what I discussed were the most prominent to me. This was a great book, especially if you have heard of “passing” and/or have twins in your family. - Robin Mooring